Feeling guilty

I’ve recently hit a short season of life – the guilty season.  It seems many of the life choices or situations that have occurred recently have come with some sort of guilt attached. As I started to dwell more and more on these situations I started to realize I needed a new perspective in some areas of my life.  So I’m sharing some of the “guilts” that have consumed me lately and choosing to see a change of perspective.

 

1. Feeling guilty about being sick – This past week I was struck with a HORRIFIC cold.  Headache, cough, sore throat, the whole works.  It took everything I had just to make it through 5 hours of work a day. I would come home and pass out on the couch or in bed the rest of the night.

Change of Perspective:  I have been blessed with a husband who allows me to rest when sick and takes amazing care of the kids. The kids enjoyed nightly bike rides, trips to the park, hours of play in the backyard digging for bugs and dinner cooked by daddy.   They were fine, I was able to rest and they love spending with their daddy. It’s okay to take the time to recover if possible.

2. Feeling guilty about going running – Before the cold hit I had been running every other day for the past 3 months.  A good friend encouraged me to run to train for a race, I did, and I’ve kept it up.  But running every other day means I am gone for a period of time each run I go on.
Change of Perspective:  The reality is I am running to be healthy.  Physically healthy and mentally healthy.  Running has changed my moods and has helped clear my thoughts at times, helping me return home refreshed and recharged. I ran my best ever 5K and felt a new sense of pride in what my body can do.  My husband and I have also always wanted to encourage an active lifestyle for our kids, but that means it has to start with us.

3. Feeling guilty about working – I work part-time as a Career Counselor.  However, that means because of schedules we can’t make play dates, I’m not always there to take the kids to school, we have babysitters and sometimes I get the “working mom” glare (the one that says I should be staying home, when I complain about these things).
Change of Perspective: I love to work, if you know me, you have probably heard me say that. I am good at what I do (or at least I think I am), I LOVE working, serving students and I choose to work. My kids get a weekly day with each of their grandmas which they love and we set up play dates when we can with other moms.

 

This is just a short list of some of the things that have consumed me lately.  The point is we all have some sort of guilt when it comes to parenting. I will never be the perfect mom and I will not always get it right.  But what I have come to realize over the past week is I am doing the best I can with the cards I’m dealt. I love my kids unconditionally, the decisions and choices I make are always done with our families best intentions in mind.  So today I will choose to have a change of perspective.  I will choose not to focus on the guilt that will weigh me down, but on the joy that our family experiences.  What mom guilt do you need to change perspectives on?

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5 Responses to Feeling guilty

  1. Abbie
    Abbie September 21, 2012 at 7:14 am #

    GREAT post, Heather! It’s so hard not to feel guilty about so many aspects of our lives as moms, but you have made excellent points. You are right – the kids got an awesome Daddy-week, they are learning the importance of physical fitness through your modeling, and they have a very well balanced week. Thanks for the reminder that a simple change in perspective can help turn those guilty moments around! Happy FRIDAY 🙂

  2. Emily M. September 21, 2012 at 9:13 am #

    Perfection is my guilt. I hear about people doing this, that, and the other thing. And they work to boot! My house is a mess, the laundry isn’t done, and supper is on the table an hour late. Why can’t I be as perfect as everyone else?

    Then I remember… we usually only say what does work in our lives, I don’t go over and check for dirty laundry at my friends’ houses, most of their kids are older and at school all day, and I sure don’t ask about dinner everyday. I have to just do my best, play with my kiddos, and try to give them fun experiences.

    Great post Heather! Thanks for reminding us that we all have to do our best and that is what makes for a happy family!!

  3. Jen September 21, 2012 at 9:20 am #

    Lately for me its been the amount of time I have been spending away from home at school. I am a SAHM but a grad student. My life has taken a drastic change and with that a change of schedule. I do feel guilt. Thanks for this great reminder!

  4. Paula O'Brien September 21, 2012 at 1:10 pm #

    Heather: you always seem to echo my sentiments exactly. I’ve been struggling with my health for the 2.5 years since becoming a mother. Finally, my doctor “ordered” me to get some R&R because the stress has been taking its toll on me mentally, physically & emotionally. She told me to start scheduling regular massages. I had several certificates laying around that I hadn’t used because I could not conceive taking time away from Avery for “me time.” I finally scheduled one and It.Was. Amazing! I returned home a much more relaxed, energetic and even-keeled mommy who handled the stresses of working & running a household much more easily. I made a promise to myself to try to schedule some type of “me time” once a month. Whether it be a massage, a pedicure or an evening with the girls. I now understand the saying: “If mama aint happy, nobody’s happy” because it is sooo true when you feel like your whole world is dependent on you!
    Thanks for your honesty & insight. 🙂

  5. sara meehan September 21, 2012 at 1:23 pm #

    Great post heather. We all have the guilt…if someone says they don’t, they are a liar! Lol. As a part time teacher, I go back and forth between working and not working (I’m planning an upcoming post about this)…the guilt about working/not working is endless! Let’s just all admit we have it and support each other 🙂

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