As Evan and I zipped up and down the aisles of the grocery store, it was brought to my attention (AGAIN) how we should expand our family. We ran into an old classmate of mine, who has 4 littles. It was a quick “Hello! How have you been? I love seeing photos of Evan on Facebook”, kind of conversation. But before all was said and done the inevitable question was asked: “When are you having another baby?”. In the past when asked this question I have responded with “We aren’t sure yet,” but this time I was sure, I knew Patrick was sure, and I said with confidence “We are all done, Evan is our one and only.” You would have thought I grew 3 heads and a unicorn horn with the way her eyes bulged! “ONLY ONE?!” she said. “Yup, only one!” She followed up with “But who will he play with?” I said “His friends and us.” We said our goodbye’s and I smiled as Evan and I pushed off.
Before being a Mommy I desired two children; we now know that 1 is our desire. I am an only child and my husband has 1 sister, so having a small family is something we are used to. We think having an only child is pretty rad, so we’ve decided to keep it that way.
We have a busy family life. Our responsibilities as husband and wife, as Momma and Dada, son and daughter as well as being musicians and friends occupies the majority of our time. Having 1 child for us means we can not only embrace the busyness of parenthood but we can give Evan more. When I say “more” I don’t mean gifts or material things. I mean financially we can provide better for our family with 1 child, we have more opportunities to give attention to Evan’s education (we are researching homeschooling) and our time isn’t divided further than it already is.
Now that I am a Momma I notice now more than ever how as parents tend to judge one another. We judge the kind of food we feed our children, having a c-section instead of a vaginal birth, epidural vs. natural and breastfeeding vs. formula. You name it and we judge it. Judgment even happens between those we consider friends. Having one child is yet another thing we judge each other about. All parents are awesome. PERIOD. It’s always seemed to me that Moms of large families are looked at as superhero Moms. But what is important to know is that no matter how many children are involved, being a parent is serious business, and it’s tough! 12 kids vs. 1 you’re sleepy, overextended and surrounded by love from tiny little humans. In my opinion having one child doesn’t make you any less of a superhero; parents to only children, you’ve earned your cape too!
When it boils down to it, no one can make plans for my uterus besides me (I suppose Patrick has some input too, tee hee!) and we aren’t going to have another child just to give Evan a built-in-bff. I am a proud Momma to our only child and embrace the time we are going to spend together as a 3 piece family.
Evan’s 2nd birthday is right around the corner,it seems like he was just turning 1! Last year I decided to start a tradition to write Evan a birthday letter every year to let him know how much I adore him and enjoy being his Momma.
When I was growing up I never wondered why I didn’t have siblings and I never desired having siblings either. I loved my one on one time with my parents and I was the only grandchild until I was in Junior High School (which I most certainly wasn’t complaining about). When and if the time comes that Evan wonders why he doesn’t have siblings I want him to know how much he means to us and that we decided with careful consideration to keep our family small.
Below is this year’s birthday letter to Evan (his birthday is May 31st) and I hope you don’t mind me sharing it with you all.
Happy 2nd Birthday my sweet, kind and adventurous boy, thank you for being my son! Our time as Momma and Son is eternal, and I am so blessed to have you as my one and only child. You fill our hearts and bring so much joy to our family that you are all we desire. I don’t want to forget a single moment of the life we are building together.
As you grow older our time together will change. You will make friends that you will want to play with more than me; maybe you will want to play sports. But for now, you are my one and only little guy who I share laughs, cuddles and tears with and you make me proud every day.
I cannot believe you are 2 years old! The time has flown by. I have learned so much about you and myself over the past 2 years and I am looking forward to getting to know you even more.
You love basketball, baseball, story time and counting. Recently we went to your first baseball game and you LOVED it. Seeing the joy in your eyes and hearing you cheer was amazing. Every day your communication grows. You are learning how to put your words together and expressing yourself. It is amazing!
Your Dada and I adore your sweetness, your willingness to give unlimited hugs and kisses and desire to learn. My handsome little man, you are phenomenal! Happy 2nd Birthday!