Being a stay-at-home mom is hard work. Being a working mom is hard work. The debate on which one is right or wrong can only be decided on by what’s best for YOU. What works for one family may not work for another. I am sharing how becoming a working mom has made me miss my days of being home with my children.
Eight years ago when my first baby was born, my husband and I decided it would be best for our family for me to stay home with him. Going from working full-time to being at home with a tiny baby that required 24 hour care was hard but I fell into a routine. A routine full of cuddles, hugs, heartaches, appointments, medication, dirty diapers, giggles, and unconditional love.
Now times have changed and I have returned to work because it is what my family needs me to do right now. I found a job that fits me. I am naturally the type of person that enjoys helping others and the position I have taken is just that. I get to reach out to families of grade schoolers and help them with anything they may need. I get to help them get their child into the doctor, help them establish a home, secure food, and even guide the parents on the path of getting an education. Even though this job is very fulfilling, I am having a hard time. I know I am not the only mom who has ever faced these difficulties and I want other moms going through this same things to know they are not alone.
Five things that are hard for me (and my boys) as a working mom:
- I MISS MY BOYS!!! I mean it, I miss my boys. I miss being able to go outside and play any time of the day. I miss their cuddles, their laughs, their dirty hands, and even those not so happy moments. Not being with them all day makes me feel like I am missing out on something and it really hurts. It feels like they are changing so much and I am not able to witness these moments.(a much needed day of fun with my boys)
- My boys MISS ME!!! I know this is true because any time I talk about going anywhere my three year old gets a worried look on his face like I am leaving him forever. Because of my new job, my husband has stepped up to the plate and takes care of the boys in the mornings, getting them dressed and dropped off at school and daycare. He is the one that has to see the tears flowing from our youngest son’s eyes when he drops him off. My eight year old is always asking who will be picking him up because he knows now that I am working we have family and friends helping us. In the evenings, both boys want me to lay with them as they fall asleep and they often battle for my attention.(drop off before heading to work was full of tears)
- I feel like I’m never home. After a busy day of work, we still have to go to therapy appointments, cub scout meetings, and other appointments and events. It feels like we are constantly on the run and when we are home we are so busy getting ready for the next day I don’t get to enjoy my time with my boys. I miss those unplanned moments that make the biggest memories, the goofy faces, and belly laughs.
- My house is NEVER clean! I used to have a clean house but as time goes on and I have less and less time at home, I feel like my house gets dirtier and more cluttered. Our evenings are filled with the things we have to get done and making as much time as I can for my boys that the house has taken a back seat. The laundry adds up, there are always dirty dishes in the sink and the mounds of school papers is growing bigger and bigger every day. Some days it takes all the energy I have left just to get the boys fed, bathed and into bed. Who has the energy to clean after the kids have finally gone to bed? Full disclosure: I’m usually so tired I fall asleep with them!
- I miss naptime!!! Naptime wasn’t only for my kids, it was for me. I LOVE being able to get a midday pick-me-up by takinga quick snoozer. I often felt like my best sleep happened during naptime. Even if it was a small nap, it give me a burst of energy to get me through the day. Now I find myself reaching for an afternoon caffeinated beverage to keep me going. Without this mid-day siesta, I feel like I have a smaller capacity to deal with the tantrums and chaos that ensues during the evening.
(my dogs always enjoyed naptime too!)
How do you moms that have worked since day one deal with these things?
What is the thing you find the hardest about leaving your kids to go to work?