if my husband blogged

The following is an actual conversation between me and my husband:
Chris: What are you doing?
Me: Trying to write my blog for September. It was due yesterday, so I need to get it done.
Chris: How very responsible of you.
Me: I can’t figure out what to write about though.
Chris: You don’t want to write about getting canned?
Me: Uh, no. I’ll write about that once it turns into something good. You know, like, I got fired, but then I found an awesome job and was way happier.
Chris: Hmmmm….hopefully that’s soon.
Me: It posts on the 15th so I was going to write about Brady since it’s his 10th birthday on the 14th, but I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle something that emotional yet. I’m waiting for my nervous breakdown to hit.
Chris: You can’t have a nervous breakdown. We don’t have insurance.
Me: Thanks, that helps.
Chris: Why don’t you write about your trip to Vegas?
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Me: I already did one about Vegas. Did I tell you? So Friday night, after Britney, we went and drank in the bar at our hotel because my feet hurt…..
Chris: You’re so sad.
Me: Hey, we went dancing at Koi first. I don’t normally wear heels.
Chris: You didn’t have to wear heels.
Me: Yes, I did. I wasn’t wearing tennis shoes with leather pants!
Chris: Mid-life crisis.
Me: ANYHOW. We went back to the bar in our hotel and these 2 dudes eventually came and started talking to us. Apparently they were out for the one guys bachelor party. What sort of bachelor party is 2 people?
(Chris sighs.)
Ok,ok. So they ask what we do and Kristine tells them she’s an attorney consultant thingy in the healthcare industry and I say that I’m the media manager for a political campaign. (Side eye) I AM. That is my title. Well, they make some derogatory comment about liberals and make Kristine angry, so they start arguing. I got lost in all their lawyering talk, so I started talking to some couple at the bar who were celebrating the husbands birthday. They had an 18 month old at home and it was their first overnight away from the baby and the mom was having a hard time. I looked at her pictures and said some pretty inspirational Mom type things and she cried a bit and hugged me.
Chris: You must have been drinking if you let someone hug you….Maybe you can talk about how different experiences like that are for moms; how when you get hit on, one of you starts a fight and the other one talks about their kids.
Me: I did something like that already.
Chris: Maybe you should write about Flash (the new kitten) and how he sucks.
(I sigh.)
Ooohhhh, you should write about the upcoming Notre Dame football season. You could say, “My post for today is a breakdown of every game Notre Dame will play this season.”
Me: I’ll pass.
Chris: You should write about the fish. No one will see that coming.
Me: You’re super helpful.
Chris: Well, I still don’t see you writing anything. At least I have ideas.
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And this is why I write the blogs and he doesn’t.

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