I wish I could tell you that I always do it right. That I always make the right decision. That I never give in to whiny behavior. That I never use those awesome Instagram filters that make me look ten years younger.
But, I can’t.
And that is because I am human. And sometimes I am tired. And sometimes it just doesn’t matter if my kids eat PB&J two nights in a row. No one is counting but me.
I do have some confessions to make. Because I know you understand. And there is so much power in having a few laughs and hearing people say, “You are normal. I’ve been there, too.”
My confessions (yes, that is Usher playing in the background):
- I ate a Lunchable for breakfast. It tasted really good. REALLY good.
- My kids eat fruit snacks every day after breakfast. I’ve lost the battle to say no to these horrible little pieces of kid crack.
- I still have a pair of size 5 Abercrombie jeans from college hidden under my bed. I just can’t get rid of them. Ever. I tell myself that maybe someday my daughter will wear them and they will be retro and cool. It’s a small piece of my former life that I am clinging to. Okay, okay … they are size 7.
- I’ve had a Weight Watchers online account for 4 months and I’ve only used it once. And I only inputted breakfast. I didn’t even make it a full day.
- Sometimes going to work feels like a relief. I am not sad to leave my kids at daycare for 8 hours.
- I tell my kids that if they don’t clean up the toys on the floor that the cleaning lady will vacuum them up. Strangely, lying to them works. They have clean bedrooms one day a month!
- I have a cleaning lady. I am not ashamed. I am proud. I would give up so many other things to make sure this stays in the budget. It’s all about priorities.
- Recently I signed up for a 5K. Convinced a few friends to do it with me. Then the day of the race I didn’t feel like running and convinced everyone to go out to breakfast. I still feel guilty about this one.
- I purchased fake poop for my 5-year-old. I laugh every time. EVERY time. I would seriously hurt you if you had purchased this for my child. But it’s my kid and I’m the mom so that makes it okay.
- I recently threw away all my love notes from high school and now I regret it. I feel like I dumped a piece of myself in the garbage.
What is your confession?