Life is better with friends. I think any of us can agree that REAL, I-don’t-have-to-clean-my-house-or-pretend-anything friends are priceless.
Angela’s post last week about prioritizing hit the nail on the head. YOU HAVE TO SCHEDULE YOUR PRIORITIES FIRST and then fit everything else in around them.
Pre-kids, it was no big deal to find time for couple friends, but parenthood writes a whole ‘nother story.
A couple summer’s ago, I read “For the Love” by the ever hilarious Jen Hatmaker. In it, she writes about her supper club. I read the chapter, practically drooling over the type of community she had with her supper club.
“When I recall our first Supper Club, I’m tickled we had to introduce ourselves, becuase now I know everything that ever happened to these people since the day they were born. I know their middle names, everything about their parents, every nuance of their kids, their music, habits, dreams, most embarassing moments, failures, secrets, preferences (even if Wolfgang Puck crafted it from ground-up dust of fairy wings, Brand would not eat dessert), future plans, humor, everything.
Our families vacation together each summer because this turned into something more than dinner, as good things often do. … We have the funniest group texts on planet Earth, and should they ever become public, we will all move to Peru.”
Yup, that’s what we wanted.
So, we took a leap and made it happen and almost two years later, our supper club is still a vital part of our life. (With many more years to come).
Here’s how YOU can start your own supper club.
Step 1: Choose 3-4 couples you want to spend more intentional time with.
This could be acquaintances you would like to get to know better or friends you’re already close to. Ask them if they want to start a supper club with you!
Step 2: Make a standing date
The third Friday of the month, for example. If you don’t do this, scheduling it will become a pain and it will fall off. If your set date doesn’t work for multiple couples, you can reschedule that month. This will keep SC on your calendar and therefore, you will happily sup together once a month. (Feeling ambitious? Feel free to meet every couple weeks! It seemed like for us, once a month was most realistic.)
Step 3: Rotate who hosts and cooks
Originally, we rotated homes each month and the host couple cooked every morsel. You could do it this way, with the guests supplying the wine/drinks. But we shifted to something a little less stressful since we all have little ones. Now the host chooses and makes the main course and the rest of the crew covers dessert, appetizers, and sides. (Notice I mentioned dessert first. It’s a VITAL component, okay?) Kevin and I LOVE to get our “foodie-on” and try new gourmet things for Supper Club that we wouldn’t cook normally. Last month we hosted and chose to make a Shepherd’s pie with lamb … it was YUM.
Step 4: Get babysitters
As parents, it can be hard to make kid-free time for ourselves. When we finish the bedtime marathon, we’re exhausted and doing something like this seems so luxurious (guilt-inducing, almost.) But that’s hogwash. You need kid-free friend time to fill your cup. Just try it if you don’t believe me. (Our supper club meets around 8 or 8:15pm so we can still do most of the bedtime routine ourselves. This makes it easier to find babysitters when you aren’t roping them into bedtime shenanigans.)
*At the QCMB, we are here to help! (Not to babysit your kids, HA!, but here is a great post we wrote about finding good babysitting, even when you don’t have family in town.)
Step 5: Do life with your friends
Supper club is just one way we try to live our lives in community. I know we couldn’t parent nearly as well without the advice and encouragement of our “village.” Supper club is one facet of that village and I am so grateful for them.
It’s astounding what a little love, laughter, and comfort food shared around a table with precious friends can do to nurture and refill your soul.
Do you have a supper club? If so, what does it look like? If not, what are you waiting for?!