I look forward to the beginning of each new year with sweet anticipation of what is to come. I get so excited about new planners, with their fresh, clean and unmarked pages. I thrive on the thoughts of the exercise plan I am going to follow and prepare my mind for how busy the gym is going to be. I think about how productive I am going to be at work, at home and at life in general. This year was no different.
I waited for the end of 2017 to come, so I could excitedly welcome 2018 and all its glory into my waiting arms.
However, I quickly realized this new year didn’t feel new.
I entered 2018 with 20 pounds of extra weight due to a shoulder injury from a race LAST FALL!
I haven’t seen the gym since that injury in August.
I am overwhelmed by work and the daily pressures of being a full time working mom.
I am lacking patience with my kiddos and my hubby.
Overall, I feel like I am failing just as much in 2018 as I was in 2017. This year has not felt NEW or FRESH or EXCITING. It has felt exhausting, defeating and a tad bit overwhelming.
For some of you, it may mean that infertility is still your reality.
2018 didn’t all of a sudden heal your marriage.
A new year doesn’t automatically bring a potty-trained toddler, a new job, or a best friend.
In fact, for some of us, if 2017 sucked, it’s quite possible that 2018 has started off the same way.
However, there was a moment when I realized I didn’t need to wait for another year to come to try again. I didn’t even have to wait till next month and I didn’t have to wait for Monday. I could CHOOSE to make today and the moment I was facing RIGHT NOW “new”.
So I decided to do just that. Here are some things I have learned by choosing to focus on the “new” I can create.
- Moving one foot in front of the other is better than not moving it at all
- I have had to remind myself that I didn’t put 20 pounds on overnight and I am certainly not going to lose it overnight either. I have also had to come to grips with the fact that my trips to the gym look very different. I have always loved lifting weights and feeling strong, but a shoulder injury prevents many of those movements from being done. So instead, I have started lacing up my shoes and running again and on days I don’t run I walk around the track, blaring my music and allowing my mind to wander. I have been slow, tired, weak and passed by people over twice my age, but I have been moving. Every time I move, I feel a sense of accomplishment and a sense of newness.
- Finding joy in the moment will only happen if I look for it
- It is easy for me to focus on what is wrong or the things I wish I could change. In order to find the new of any given moment I have to allow myself to stop and see it. A simple laugh from my toddler can make a stressful night seem manageable IF I stop to enjoy it. Instead of getting frustrated with my 9 year old when she comes downstairs to talk to me well after bedtime, I have taken a moment to find joy in the fact that she wants to tell me about fears, frustrations and future plans.The things that need to get done will still be there tomorrow
- The things that need to get done today will likely still be there tomorrow
- I have spent so much time stressing about everything that needs to get done at home and especially work. I have spent many of the last months sitting up late with my laptop in hand, answering emails, working on projects and allowing the overwhelming tasks to consume me until bedtime. I have decided to make this moment new by realizing that there are some things that need immediate attention and there are others that can wait until morning. Having time to read, connect with my husband and engage in mindless tasks some nights have helped created a newness that in turn has recharged my battery and helped me become more effective.
- Experiencing the new is a daily choice
- Every day, I get to choose if I will experience new or not. And even if the day feels much like the day, week or year before, I can choose right then and there to stop and choose new. I can choose a new attitude before my 12:00 meeting. I can choose a new accountability when I pass up the 3 cakes sitting in the lounge. I can choose a new patience before I walk in the door to greet my family. I can choose a new step on the treadmill instead of scrolling facebook. I can choose a new phrase that empowers me rather than tears me down. The reality is that I must choose, it will never happen for me.
Regardless of how 2018 has treated you thus far, I hope that today you choose a new path, new motto, new commitment to yourself if needed, because you deserve it. You deserve to feel the newness of the powerful woman you are each day. Each morning and afternoon and evening is new because it is the first time you experience it. Each moment allows you the opportunity to give yourself new grace, speak with new words of kindness and experience a new chance at this journey you are on.