A fun thing that I noticed is that now that I am “middle-aged,” I’ve become the crotchety old woman who hates everyone and tells kids to get off of her front lawn. To be fair, I’ve always had only a select few people that I wanted to spend time with, but the list of people who annoy me has gotten longer and longer. Join me as I complain about those people who live to ruin the days of those around them. They might even be on your list too.

The List

  1. People who don’t have the ability to vote, but don’t.
  2. People who like Backstreet Boys better than N’Sync.
  3. Racists, obviously.
  4. People who come into a retail facility several minutes before close, and don’t have a quick transaction.
  5. Men who refer to me as “sweetie” or “honey.”
  6. People who travel in the far right lane of John Deere Road at 16th who have no intention of going to Galesburg.
  7. People who use the word “retarded.” (It pained me to even write it)
  8. Whoever invented high heels.
  9. Whoever keeps casting Kevin Costner in things.
  10. People who tell me to “smile.”
  11. People who talk during movies.
  12. People who use their cell phone on speaker in a public place.
  13. People who clap when their plane lands.
  14. People who don’t say “thank you” when someone opens the door for them.
  15. People who insist on opening the door when you are half a block away, thus forcing you to run to the door.
  16. Couples who have joint Facebook accounts.
  17. People who bring up their new diet in every conversation (I hated myself when I was on the Keto diet.)
  18. People who say “would of” instead of “would have.”
  19. People who come in the back exit and try to merge into the drive-thru line at the McDonald’s on 30th at in Rock Island.
  20. People who insist on ordering large specialty orders in the drive-thru lane of a fast food restaurant.
  21. Men who won’t let their boys cry.
  22. People who use the phrase “Everything happens for a reason,” especially after a tragic event.
  23. People who wear their pajamas and slippers to the store.
  24. People who don’t like Christmas.
  25. People who park over the lines or take up 2 spaces.
  26. Men who have man buns.
  27. People who don’t tip or tip poorly.
  28. People who don’t return their carts to the cart return.
  29. Men who cat call.
  30. People who exercise in jeans.
  31. People who don’t use their turn signal.
  32. People who wait in a long line at a restaurant and STILL don’t know what they want when it’s their turn to order.
  33. People who read articles about tv shows or movies and complain about spoiler alerts.
  34. People who refer to celebrities as “mom” or “dad.”
  35. Close talkers.
  36. Misogynists, transphobes, homophobes…..all the bad phobes….
  37. People who videotape whole concerts, particularly if they hold their phone in the air.
  38. People who don’t change the toilet paper roll.
  39. People who don’t like Star Wars.
  40. People who have more than 12 items in the express lane.
  41. People who don’t like “Friends.”
  42. People who still act surprised when their first dance song starts to scratch right before they break out into an elaborately choreographed dance at their wedding.
  43. People who rev their engines at stop lights.
  44. Anyone on the show “Catfish.” Have they never heard of Reverse Image Search?
  45. Hildy Santo Tomas from “Trading Spaces.”
  46. People who still do duck lips in pictures.
  47. People who vague book…..or worse, people who provide tmi.

This list is not all-inclusive, not short, or distinguished. And right now you are probably thinking how horrible I am for coming up with such a list. You are right, and now you are on it too…..

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