Perfect is a word that I rarely use. I don’t like to use it because I don’t think anything can ever be truly perfect. With that being said, I do think I have the perfect family of four and I wouldn’t change a thing.
My family started traditionally with marriage and wanting children. Little did we know that it wouldn’t be that simple. We were plagued with infertility. We tried fertility treatments but soon realized that method wasn’t in our parenthood journey. We were meant to become parents through adoption.
Everything seemed to go wrong from the start and continued throughout the entire adoption journey. We completed the trainings, paperwork and a dossier only to be told that the procedures and laws changed so we had to redo everything. We redid the paperwork and dossier that soon expired because the waiting period was so long. We wanted to adopt two children or a sibling group at one time but that didn’t happen. When we finally got the call, we received a referral for a son-only to find out he might have some health issues so that would put our second child on hold. We didn’t think we would ever have our perfect family of four.
During the second adoption, we found out our adoption agency was filing bankruptcy and we didn’t know if we would be able to bring our daughter home. Nothing happened easily and nothing went right. The adoption process was long, scary and gruesome. However, after all of the hurdles, worries, and wrongs, our family finally became whole with a son and daughter.
Finally a perfect family of four, right? Nope. Our one-year-old son had many health issues and was developmentally, physically and socially delayed. One year later our 10-month-old daughter came home. She was petrified of men, paralyzed with anxiety and fear, and had developmental and speech delays. It was challenging and exhausting, but overcoming these hurdles made the battle worth every ounce of pain, worry, and fear.
Life with our son Abi is wild and crazy. Because he faced many health challenges as a baby, he has learned to be a fighter, and continues to battle today-with ADHD and socially. He has learned to never give up and always try his best. He has a go-getter, happy, and energetic attitude that always brings excitement to our lives. I can’t wait to see where these qualities take him in life.
Our daughter, Yenework, has brought dramatics and entertainment to our family. From the moment I held her in my arms, I knew she would always have something to say, be very strong-willed and independent. As she overcame her anxieties and fear, she found her light that makes her shine bright. She lives up to the meaning of her name- “My Gold.” The world is her stage and she won’t let anyone dull her sparkle.
I’m guessing most of you are wondering why I claim a perfect family of four, because the journey doesn’t sound like it. I am here to say to you that my family is perfect, but only perfect for me. When we started the adoption journey, we accepted all of the unknowns. We embraced every challenge and hurdle we crossed. We celebrate every accomplishment and moment in life. Our family was chosen to be together. We traveled across the world to find each other. I can’t imagine my life without them and they are my heart and my entire world. While we may not have the perfect story about how we became a family, it’s our story, and our family is perfect for us.
Lindsey is a wife and mom of two kids adopted from Ethiopia. She is a Rock Island native and graduate of Luther College. Lindsey worked in higher education admissions, fundraising, and advertising for most of her professional career. Most recently she decided to change career paths and follow a calling to work with children as a paraprofessional in the Rock Island School District Early Childhood Special Education program. Lindsey is a skin care
consultant for Rodan + Fields and loves helping people feel confident and beautiful in their own skin. She believes it is important to cherish and celebrate every moment in life no matter how big, small, good or bad. Lindsey loves the Chicago Cubs, traveling and spending time with her family.