What is February in the Midwest? The twinkle of the Christmas season already packed away. Sloshy grime on everything. Spring break vacations nowhere in sight. And our New Year’s Resolutions? We’re not talking about those. Thankfully we have a flirty, sparkly holiday in the middle of all of that noise: Valentine’s Day. Good thing it’s not also a bit extra, right? Riiigghht.
Although Valentines Day can feel manufactured by Hallmark, it is a chance to love your people well. Maybe that’s posting hearts on your kids’ doors, cooking a meal for your significant other, doing a random act of kindness or scheduling a night out with your girlfriends. All of these things are amazing, but also so very……very……EXHAUSTING! How is it possible that after a season of non-stop work there is MORE WORK? Raise your Rosé if you will need a miracle to get to February 14th! You are not alone and here are a few Valentine’s Day self-care tips to get you through.
Watch those core needs.
One reason we burn out during holiday seasons is because we neglect our basic needs in the name of being everything to everybody. Is anyone else in your family doing this??? Of course not! Here is some truth: a cosmic void will not open in the universe if we forget to buy the heart-shaped pizza and just call Dominos instead. Get the sleep, eat the body fueling foods, drink more water, take the hot shower and get done what you can truly, realistically get done.
Love who you committed to love, not the version you created in your head. That means understanding who they are and how they best show their adoration for you. Maybe they’ll take care of dinner, do that chore you hate or put the kids to bed while you plan your girl’s night out. Your S.O. may never be Ryan Gosling (spoiler alert: even Ryan Gosling isn’t Ryan Gosling), but if he finds ways to lighten your mental load, then swoon! Don’t bury anybody in unrealistic expectations.
Comparison kills and sometimes seeing what every other girl is doing (or getting) can place a cloud over a happy day. If you are easily triggered by social media or Valentine’s Day displays, then RUN from those triggers. Have your groceries delivered and unplug from online activity. Don’t torture yourself! Sometimes the best Valentine’s Day self-care is to simply avoid what is unhealthy for you.
Balance your time well.
Especially if you have kids, there are opportunities around every corner to be unnecessarily busy! Our calendars are way too full to begin with and, then we add in holiday pressure? We are now scheduled beyond what anyone in our home can handle. Maybe your Valentine’s Day should look like no plans, a movie night and a big fuzzy robe.
Drooling over a new pair of earrings, craving the BIG latte from Starbucks or desperately need a pedi? Do it! The pressure is off of your sweetie and you can snag something for yourself, guilt-free! Your people could still surprise you with something, but it’ll be ok if they don’t. Make room in your budget to treat yourself just a little! Not sure what to get? Do a lap around Target–I promise, it will call to you.
This time of the year can be hard and sometimes it can feel like we have no one. But that thought pattern is usually irrationally incorrect. Take a blank piece of paper and list all of the soul-nourishing people in your life. By seeing that list in black and white, we see how rich our lives really are. We sometimes have more than we realize.
So this Valentine’s day, give yourself permission to re-define it. Make it a relaxed, silly and expectation-free day. Extend grace to yourself and to those around you and toss kindness around like confetti. (But don’t toss actual confetti because that junk gets everywhere and you do NOT need more to do.)
For every day self-care tips follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/12stonescounseling/
For more Valentine’s Day inspiration visit: https://quadcity.citymomsblog.com/2012/01/19/love-day-inspiration/
For a yummy Valentine’s Day treat visit: https://quadcity.citymomsblog.com/2018/02/09/chocolate-chip-pecan-skillet-cookie-two/